Pulled into Nazareth, was feeling about half-past dead. I just needed some place where I could get my dick sucked. Luckily it wasn’t Nazareth, it was Bangkok. And they know how to Bang Cock in Bangkok. [ed: sorry for the bad dad joke, but I kinda chortled a bit when I read that].
If you’ve never been to Eden Club, do yourself a fucking favour and sit your arse down at the bar. I can not describe what a paradise this place is in words.
I was recommended this place by a friend who told me the following things would happen:
- I would enter and be greeted by a crazy Frenchman. He actually told me to be a Crocodile and take what I wanted.
- Girls to the left of the line were into anal, girls on the right were not so much, but they all loved girl-on-girl action
- Choose a girl and then she will choose her girl. The choice is hers and “why fuck one, when you can fuck two” as the Frenchman says.
- When you go into the room, they wouldn’t fuck you until you’d already come once.
So as per instructions, I entered the joint and was greeted by the aforementioned Frenchman. He proceeded to tell me the ‘rules’? (wrong word, maybe more like ‘guidelines’?) and I swallowed my second Chivas.
The parade came and I chose a girl who actually walked past and smiled. I like that kinda stuff. When you are a permanent resident of red light districts, human connections (like a smile) are valuable. She chose a girl and we proceeded upstairs (actually, I think it was next door and upstairs!).
Entered the room and was given the most thorough scrubbing I’ve ever experienced. Like I didn’t have an inch of inside or outside skin that wasn’t scrubbed. My epidermis was clean. And that included the bit between my ball sack and my arsehole.
The girls asked what I wanted. I shyly suggested that they get it on. If you’ve ever seen a new chef arrive at his station rolling out his knives you’d understand the scene I saw next. Basically the first girl reached into her bag and rolled out a bag full of dildos and vibrators. It took about 3 seconds to choose the three headed (anus, vagina and clitoris for those following at home) pleasure machine.
Seriously, I nearly blew a load just writing this and remembering it.
So after they had both exhausted themselves I was invited to join. Things started with a good old tonguing all over. Yep… including the wrinkly areas. Jesus himself only knows these pleasures and I’m sure he found them in Eden.
After all of this the fucking and blowing my load all over her tits was a bit of an anti-climax, but still better than… well… a whole bunch of shit that I can think of. In fact it was fucking awesome how she nuzzled into me and said “please come on my face”. Yeah, that was nice.
After the deed we all cleaned up together, another thorough shower and then the coy exchanges of “that was nice” and “I’m not sure I can walk downstairs yet”.
Got to the bar downstairs and enjoyed another Chivas before heading off to Soi Cowboy. They always say you should never go shopping hungry and now I really know what “they” mean. Before you go out, always blow your load over some anal loving lesbian couple who will clean you thoroughly before *and* after.